In Defense of Confrontation

I've tried to defend a number of things on this blog, and this is one I've neglected.  It just occurred to me that confrontation gets a bad wrap.  As soon as people read the word, they're like, "who likes confrontation?!"  I am actually among those people for whom confrontation is emotionally charged, BUT I wish to defend it anyway, because it's a necessary part of a functional society.

Now, I'm not talking about dueling swords or anything here; I'm simply talking about saying what you think TO PEOPLE'S FACES in order to facilitate growth and communication.  How can people ever advance intellectually or emotionally if they don't confront the people, ideas, and fears that confront THEM in society?  It's okay to be afraid.  It's also okay to say what you think.  (At least it SHOULD be - unfortunately, many people are not self-aware enough to take constructive criticism.  They take it as a knife wound.)

Think about marriages and parenting and friendships.  Why does "confrontation" have to always be a generic euphemism for yelling at someone when you're drunk or awkward drug interventions?  I don't know why I always descend into a defense of honesty, but it makes me slightly insane when people lie.  It makes me even more crazy when people hide behind shitty facades and criticize other people behind their backs.  Man up.  Say what you mean and mean what you say.

This doesn't mean you need to walk up to that fat girl at Walmart and tell her she's obese and needs to put down the Twinkies.  Confrontation involves two parties who are engaged to some degree, not strangers.

I don't see why people are so afraid of talking to other people.  As an introvert, for me, sometimes it's physically painful.  BUT ... I feel like I get something out of it.  I want to invest in other people, but I can't do that if there isn't a back-and-forth.  Confront what is right in front of you and either choose to include it in your life or flush it.

Life would be better if people would quit dicking around.

Are We Having Fun Yet?

I'm about ready to freak the fuck out.  I DO NOT understand why people are up in my business all the time.  Yes, I choose to post my thoughts on the internet.  Yes, I am a teacher.  One is my prerogative, and the other is my job.

I will assume that people who bitch and complain and narc do so out of some misguided sense of duty to the school.  They think that if I say odd, inappropriate things online, then I do the same in class.  Wrong.  I do it online AS AN OUTLET, because I CAN'T say what I want in the classroom.  I'm not harming anyone.  I'm not threatening anyone.  Why aren't these cyber-creepers looking for pedophiles or criminals instead of trying to silence a aging bookworm from the middle west?

And WHY can't these people say something to my face if they have a problem with me?!  Why do their comments need to be disseminated by other people?  Since when did people get so cowardly that they can't even say what they think to another person's face?  Conflicts are solved through dialogue, not through letters of complaint.  You think I'm wrong?  When was the last time someone wrote a letter to their congressman and got what they wanted?  These people who complain think they're going to shut me up, and they're wrong.  The day students are taught ONLY by rule-following robots, they will stop learning anything at all.

Full Stop

Divorce:  (verb)  to dissolve one's partnership with; (state) separation

I would like to divorce the following things:  my husband, stupid people, Middle Eastern dictatorships, (dictatorships in general), homophobia, the formal educational system, bureaucracy, Nebraska.

(Clicking of the heels ... and ... !! ... nothing.)

I Want

All the psychological experts tell me that I have to make lists of things that I want in order to get them.  So, here I go...

I want to be a writer, without having to beat my fucking head against the wall writing shitty novels.

I want to read books of my choice.  Outside.  On a piazza.  In the sun.

I want to see more live music. 

I want to be happy more often than I am indifferent or angry.

I want to have supportive friends.  (or just friends in general)

I want to get drunk with poets and actors and musicians and painters.

I want to have tumultuous love affairs with marginally off-balance, beautiful people.

I want to travel the world.

That last one is a lie; I want to travel to select, beautiful countries with cool beaches and architecture.

I want to play in tide pools on the weekends.

I want an apartment of my own.

(I'm trying to be realistic here, and not ask for the lottery or a time machine...)

I want have regular dinner dates with Tina Fey (or someone else who will inspire me to be better).

I want to have regular sex dates with a young, beautiful, French, black man who doesn't want anything.

I want to write on my PC while sitting on a balcony overlooking the ocean.

I want to jog on the beach every morning.

I want to learn how to properly surf.

I want to live and work on a vineyard for a summer.

I want to just be done.  A quick brain tumor and a traditional Hawaiian burial.  (Sooner rather than later.)

some bullshit

I have a blog.
And then I have a blog for teaching.
Here's what happened...
They got in.  (You know the "they" of which I speak.)
And then, I have to censor.
And then I have to consider that both may have been "compromised."

My pockets are full of stones.  I want the only sound to be the overflow.

I have no idea to find the happy medium.