Bathrooms, and Other Shit

Here is how I started my day of teaching:  an 18-year-old boy gave a speech attacking the idea of places/schools having transgender bathrooms.  I was with him for about the first 30 seconds, and then it all took a turn for the worse.

All of a sudden, the whole class was arguing about bathrooms.  The boys were pissed that the girls have stalls in their bathrooms, and the girls were pissed that the boys kept talking about urinals.  And then the original speaker started ranting about how if a transgender person went into a bathroom with his small child, and his child was made to feel uncomfortable, he would "beat the shit" out of that person.  Ultimately, he said, if you can't go into the bathroom where you "biologically belong", you should hold it until school is over.

Then it got worse ...

The boys and girls argued for 10 minutes about which gender is more disgusting in a bathroom.  The boys said their bathrooms were worse because (apparently) boys pee all over everything and leave pubes everywhere, and the girls proclaimed that (apparently) girls bleed all over everything.  What. The. Hell.  ??  I literally tried to redirect the conversation several times, but they were all hell-bent on talking about toilets - something which I NEVER want to talk about, especially before 9:00 am.

The final straw was when the original speaker (guy) said that he and his friends periodically redirect their streams onto each other, because it's fun.  My life is a surrealistic movie.

The very next period (study hall), I listened to a girl talk about her recent stay in a mental hospital.  I helped a boy write an apology letter for buying an illegal gun.  I heard why another boy had been suspended for buying a bong in the school bathroom.  Then another boy told me about all the girls who send him naked pictures via snapchat - at which point I explained the laws about possession and distribution of child pornography.

I don't even know what else to say.  High school students might be a different species entirely.

Antonin Scalia, RIP

Antonin Scalia is dead.  That is a sad, incontrovertible fact.  The fact that he came from humble beginnings, then made his way up the judicial ladder to THE SUPREME COURT is pretty impressive.  I disagree with most of what came out of his mouth, BUT a man is dead, and a family is in mourning, and people should have some respect.

Not in America.  From the moment he was found dead, our lovely, American government officials have been frothing at the mouth over how to profit politically from his death.  He ceased being a MAN and became a SEAT to be filled.  And that SEAT needs to be filled by someone who "agrees" with peoples' beliefs.  Obviously, that's impossible, because no one in America agrees about anything anymore.  Apparently people just want what they want when they want it.  Period.  Who cares about everyone else, right?

The Republicans have already vowed to block any nomination which President Obama might suggest.  Let's just think about that for a second ... Before the man has even said a single word about the issue or uttered a single name, the Republicans are screaming "FUCK YOU, OBAMA!  WE DON'T LIKE IT!!"  What a bunch of elementary school bullshit.  No wonder America is so on edge and unstable.  Our elected politicians are acting like a bunch of dumbass bullies.

If the Supreme Court of the United States is tasked with interpreting laws at the highest level, we better hope they can overlook their own personal biases long enough to rule in a fair, objective way.

Oh wait, I forgot, this is America.  God forbid that people (ANY people) look at issues without prejudice.  Why should we expect anything different from elected officials?  After all, it takes a certain kind of crazy person to run for office and pander for votes and talk out both sides of their face all the time.  I guess I shouldn't still be nauseated by something which happens all the time.

When Donald Trump can stand in the middle of a legitimate Republican debate on TV and simply shout at everyone and call them all liars, AND STILL HAVE PEOPLE SUPPORTING HIM, America has officially lost its shit.  We've entered into a truly sad state of affairs in American history.

Read a Book, You Illiterate Son of a Bitch

Ironically, the title of this blog comes from the Jay Z song, "Big Pimpin'.  It's not even Jay Z rapping that part of the song, it's UGK spitting some truth. These guys rapping aren't just pimps (or wannabe pimps, or whatever), these are EDUCATED guys. Listen to Bun B as he mispronounces the word "scenario" in order to make it rhyme with the previous couplet, then retreats and apologizes for being so grammatically incorrect. Then he says what all smart people think when someone stupid speaks: "Read a book you illiterate son of a bitch / Step up your vocab". Motherfucker just insulted your ability to READ, bitch! AND he's going to steal your ho! The joy I get from this is indescribable. 
(thanks, internet lyrics blogs!)

So imagine my intrinsic sadness, when my community service club did a book collection, collected almost a thousand books, and then hard a hard time finding anyone who wanted them ... even when the books were absolutely free of charge.  I contacted some elementary schools, a junior high which hasn't even opened yet (so has a VERY small library), an alternative school, and other teachers of English.  Altogether, teachers took about 30 of those 900+ books, because reading is (apparently) not something students and/or teachers do anymore.  (Thank god for those teachers who care, by the way.)

I contacted the local family services place, and they said they would take the books, but as kids only get to spend 20 minutes in the back of the place looking for stuff they want (think: pants, shirts, socks, shoes, athletic equipment, games, etc), they probably weren't going to take the books.  Okay, so maybe INCREASE the amount of time the kids have to look for things!  A book, in the hands of a troubled kid, might be the ONE thing that saves them.  Yes, they need clothes, but the whole idea of a 20-minute scramble to find necessities is mortifying.  And what young kid goes directly to the book section?  They have to be invited in to the world of reading, so they can find an alternate universe of life.  It's essential.

I ended up giving the books away to a shelter out of town, where people can sort of shop around without a time limit and maybe even use the books in an alternative classroom setting.  Some of them I even gave to the Goodwill, even though they resell donations, because my community doesn't even house a book store. But I can't shake the feeling that books are becoming obsolete.  When kids have their phones plastered to their faces all day, in the short-attention-span 21st Century, kids don't understand the value of books.

As Ray Bradbury once said, “You don't have to burn books to destroy a culture. Just get people to stop reading them.”  Unfortunately, this is already happening. 

Here's a suggestion, when you read a good book, pass it on to someone.  Don't let Big Brother win this one. 

The Point

There is a point to all of this, right? I'm really hoping that I didn't spent all this time and effort, like breathing, for the past 40 years to have life come down to all the petty bullshit.  Cleaning my house, shoveling snow, grading one million papers, enduring small talk, doing six million loads of laundry, binge-watching netflix.  I know there are moments of beauty in the world, like good hugs, tasty food, star gazing, playing at the beach, reading a good book ... but I feel like I could have knocked those things out in the first 25 years and then been done.  I'm just pretty tired now, and I'm not seeing a lot of potential for the future me.

I could plan something, but I don't really want to.
I could fix up my house, but I don't have any money, and I don't know how to fix much of anything.
I could learn how to cook amazing food, but there's no one here to eat it.
I could work out, but ... yeah, no thanks.
I could write a book, but I already did that - twice - and neither one is any good.
I could hang out with my friends, but I don't really have any.
I could make some new friends, but that sounds really tiring and time-consuming.
I could go for a walk, but it's cold outside, and plus, I'd end up back here anyway.
I could play my guitar, but I'm not good at it anymore.
I could write this stupid list on my blog ...

Genres of Writing, For Dummies

Here's is how writing works:  there are many different genres of writing.  Fiction, nonfiction.  Poetry, drama, memoirs, biographies, autobiographies, short stories, novels, science fiction, and so forth.

Please take note of the fact that these genres can be mixed; in other words, some fiction has a basis in fact, and some nonfiction takes liberties with truth.

Don't judge people (and their subsequent writing) on what you do or do not think is "REAL".

It's all up for interpretation.  Just read and enjoy.  Don't insert your own reality or your own biases on a writer's message.

Drink it in, and let it be independent of you.

Snow Day

Who doesn't love a snow day?

(Okay, in all fairness, let me name those people:  parents who want their kids out of the house, parents who have a job which requires them to find daycare for their kids when they're out of school, people who hate shoveling, and ... communists.)

But ... there is almost nothing better than waking up when my biological clock goes off at 6:30, then falling back asleep, waking up and eating breakfast in bed, then playing in the snow.  The shoveling part might kind of suck, but at least it's a bit like exercise, so I can pretend I did a workout for the day.  

I have about 70 research papers to grade (which blows), BUT!  I can grade them at home in front of a roaring fire.  The atmosphere alone makes me less angry about the one million grammatical and research errors I am encountering.  And if I get truly annoyed at the lack of literacy, I can simply chuck the papers into the fireplace and watch them dance in the flames!  Beautiful. 

I'm not even angry that the adult male in my house slept until 1 pm and didn't lift the shovel even once.  (That's a lie; he's an asshole for making me do all the work, but I'm still on the snow-day high, so whatever.)

While I truly detest winter, I love a snow day.  I'm thinking some coffee and Bailey's will be in order soon.  And then a snowman.  Peace.