Life Plan??

I think I’ve missed the point of life.  Maybe I found it for a while, but the last 10 years have been a haze, in which I’ve retreated into myself at the expense of relationships with other people.  Other people either want something from me (which I am too exhausted to give), or they are toxic (focused on things that I don’t care about).  I find myself sitting alone, a lot, and wondering what the hell I’m even doing.  I don’t want to go anywhere or do anything, because nothing sounds fun.  Textbook depression, right?  Maybe.  I just feel alone, even when I’m not alone.  All my favorite people are teenagers, which seems counter-intuitive to adult happiness.  For a while, I thought maybe I could just vampire away their youth and be happy, but … turns out, that is not a good plan.  Since I’m the adult, I’m supposed to have my shit together and give good life advice and all that, but I don’t have my shit together, and I certainly don’t want to give them advice which would put them in my place in life.  So … I don’t know.   I am much better at giving good advice than at taking it. 

Time for a new plan. 

I wish I cared enough to make one.