I'm going to say something totally selfish really quick. I would be a better person if I was left alone more often.
I have hundreds of creative, original thoughts every day. I think of songs and remixes and stories and movie plots, but I can't find the space in my own home (and subsequently in my own head) to make any of them concrete. There is always someone around clogging up my creativity. I just want everyone to shut up.
Sounds easier than it is. Everyone around me wants to do what they want, for themselves, but as soon as they need something ... they seem incapable of doing anything FOR themselves.
I have certainly enabled their inability to function independently, because I do everything for them.
Example: snow day. Bonus, right? That is, until all of a sudden I don't have the evening and next morning to be free; I have teenagers invading my house and yelling about stupid shit until 2am. So much for the peaceful fire and the bottle of wine. So much for a good night's sleep. My life is not about me - it hasn't been for a long time. It's about others - always.
I'd like to live in my house alone. At least every other day or something. I'd like other people to get out of my head and leave me there alone, so I can do something of value, rather than staring at netflix in an attempt to shut out the noise of others.
Selfish, I know. But so necessary.
Wednesday, January 7, 2015
Selfish
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