The Ocean

Do you remember the coast?  The primordial sound of waves hitting the sand and the deafening silence of the ocean?  Even if you haven't been to the ocean (god help you), there is a primal urge in humankind to seek out the ocean and its heartbeat.  I haven't been there in two years, and I can feel the tug happening every, single day.

I just got a call from a student I haven't heard from in 12 years.  12 YEARS!!  He just called me out of the blue and shot the shit for a half hour.  He wanted me to meet him in California to hang out with some mutual friends from back in the day.  My gut says YES and my brain says "that's the week you start school again".  Stupid.  I can't wait for the time in my life when I can do whatever I want, whenever I want.  Is that ever a time in people's lives??

I want to go to the Oregon Coast right now.  I want to pack up my Venza and hit the road with a trunk-full of shit and just GO.  I want to get the fuck out of here, but (if I go) I will pack all that debt on my credit card, because I'm poor as shit.  Maybe I should just live as though I'm going to die in a car accident tomorrow.  That way, I can do what I want and not worry about all the bullshit repercussions involved in actually doing something I want.

I may have to call in some favors with the extended family, but I think they like me enough to let me in for a day or two; and then I can just sleep on the beach for a few days.  I won't mind the sand crabs (or whatever) up my ass.  I just NEED to get the fuck out of Dodge for a while.  this place is bleak and oppressive, and I want to breathe different air and see different faces.  I want to ignore everyone and not talk to a single human being for a few days.  (I sound like Holden Caulfield with his pathetic quest for the west and being a hermit...)

Please.