Overheard, At A High School

One half of one week of school has passed, and here are some of the most "interesting" things I've heard so far:

• "You can only skeet in a girl in Walmart."
• "If abortion becomes illegal, the women who do it under the radar deserve to die."
• "Just call me diabetes boy.  Or, if I like you, I can be your diabetes buddy.  Here's the thing:  I wear cool shoes, because I'm gonna die early."
• "Liberals are the anti-Christ."
• "Conservatives embody the ideology of Hitler."
• "Donald Trump is worse than Hitler, because he (Hitler) was more effective at getting rid of people who shouldn't be alive."
• "White people suck - all the white cops are racists."
• "Huck Finn fucking sucked.  I hate Mark Twain."
• "Life would be worthless without Instagram."
• "I just met this girl, and I can tell she's a slut."
• "If the projector explodes, I will just turn my wrists toward the shrapnel, because being at school makes me want to die."
• "Holden Caulfield is a whiny bitch.  I don't need to hear that shit."
• "Why does the black guy in Huck Finn keep talking like a n****r?"
• "History is bullshit, because people suck.  They won't ever not suck."
• "If growing up means feeling like shit all the time, I'd rather go out on a meth binge."
• "Educated people are better at manipulating people and getting what they want.  Doesn't matter if it's good or bad."
• "Nobody is ever satisfied.  It's the human condition."
• "All immigrants do is have babies.  It's like they don't know what birth control is."
• "Gatsby was so fucking delusional that he ended up dead in the bottom of his own pool."
• "School is, like the worst part of the year.  All I want to do is go to bed.  Or get high."

I'm just sayin' ... high school is a strange place, full of daydreams and angst.