22 November 2022 - a poem

I tell myself that I’m fine.

I tell you that I’m fine.

I tell you that I’m not angry, because that is the safest route.

I begin to train myself to believe that I am not angry.

I do the best I possibly can, given what I am given -

It works.

Sometimes.

I believe that you are real -

that you care about me as much as I care about you - 

(I try to remember about myself)

And then 

Sometimes,

I know you don’t.

I know you don’t see me

Or listen to me

Or hear me

Or validate me

Because …

Life is easier to rationalize if you project.

My soul understands projection,

 … yours only understands it from a blinded side.

While I try to be the better me,

You be you.

No apologies; no middle-ground.

how

can

we

(be we)

?