Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Pop-Up Pools & Other Outdoor Nightmares

I decided to put my little pool up today.  It will absolutely be worth the pain later, when the Nebraska heat hits 1000 degrees, but it was a pain in the ass.  Leveling (again), shoving poles into other poles (no innuendo intended), and spiking my water bill for the next three months.  It's dirty already, and I can't afford a proper pool vacuum, so I will be seen any given day scooping debris out of the pool by hand.  (Why did I ever move from an apartment building with a proper pool and workout facility included?  (I think it had something to do with my irrational fear of other people burning down the building...)

I also just spent $50 on chemicals to kill and/or repel things from my yard.  Bunnies, squirrels, birds (repel) - ants, flies, gnats, mosquitoes, grubs (kill).  All those little fuckers are ruining all my hard work by eating the shit I planted.  This isn't a socialist garden; it's MINE.  So they have to go.

And then, for every plant I intentionally put in the ground, there are roughly 100 plants which don't belong.  I have pulled out about 500 (seriously, no exaggeration) little maple trees from my yard.  They are tenacious little fuckers, growing in places I can't even reach.  Even the stupid bunnies don't want the maple trees.  Just now, trying to spray a chemical barrier around my sunflowers to stop the onslaught of fuzzy little creatures, I inhaled a couple lungs full of whatever is in that bottle.  Thank god I got the eco-friendly variety, but I still have a terrible red-pepperish burning in the back of my throat.  If their are no more blog posts, you can assume I succumbed to the toxins.

Every time I go in the back yard to relax, I end up picking weeds.  I wish I could be a lazy sack of shit like my neighbor and just guzzle beer in the garage, but I can't sit still while NATURE tries to outplay my man-made (lower-case) nature.

I'll get those bastards.  I've got nothing else to do for now... :)

No comments:

Post a Comment