Love is the Answer

Don't date people,  Love people, or don't.  Take people in as they are, broken as fuck, and either love them properly or leave them alone.  Don't play games.  Don't pull the "I need a break" card.  Get your shit together and get in that person's face (face-to-face is crucial here), and tell them how you feel.  Tell them why they aren't right for you.  Tell everyone in your life what you need to tell them, because you could step off a sidewalk tomorrow and get nailed by a bus.  You could have an aneurysm and drop dead at any second.  Do you really want to leave things unsaid?  Don't do it.  Don't die with regrets.  Don't die and let other people wonder what was left unsaid.  Don't disappear.  Your words are of great import.

Even the word, "dating", is such bullshit.  The definition of a "date" is "the day or month of the year, as specified by a number"  OR "a social or romantic appointment or engagement".  So ... "DATING" is just another word for periodically having an appointment with someone, on a day.  Unless you're scheduling with a prostitute, "dating" doesn't apply to anything REAL.  It's just a word that comes with bullshit social obligations.

Love knows no boundaries.  When you feel the boundaries (or start getting choked by them), tell your person and move on.  It's important to look in their eyes when you do this.  People need closure.  Don't fucking hang around afterwards, waiting for the other person to love you properly.  Change happens at a glacial pace.  Even when something blindsides you, the way you feel will seem like the pace of watching paint dry in subsequent moments.  The days and weeks afterward crawl like a fucking slug toward nothing.  You might think you're over it, and then you see a fucking Hallmark commercial or something and you're crying over (what seems like) absolutely nothing, but it's unresolved angst.

Embrace it.  Love yourself.  Love other people.  Do it right or not at all.  People are not toys.  Life is not a Hasbro game.  (It totally is, but you get what I'm talking about.)  TOYING with people and their feelings is just mean.  Rationalizing your behavior makes it no better.

I'm tired of watching people get fucking railroaded by other people and feeling sad.  I'm also tired of being that person who either does it or takes it from other people.  We need to be good to each other.  I'm old as shit and still learning how to be a proper human being.  The problem with being a human being is that we all have different agendas and different pressure points.  It's not okay to systematically test those boundaries on other people.

Be honest.  Be true.  Love is the answer.