Stop (?)

I can’t stop.

The obsessive part of my brain is constantly running and wondering and wandering and wanting.  I want everything I can’t have, and I resist everything that’s around me. 

To be clear:  I don’t HAVE any people.  We don’t own one another.  I INTERACT with other people, some more intimately than others, but I don’t OWN any of them, including my children.  Everyone is his or her own person.  So why do we try to possess other people?  Why do we want to label and classify the people in our lives?  Why can’t we get all Kurt Vonnegut on this bitch of a life, and accept that there are people who orbit our worlds more closely than others? 

Take care of me, and I’ll take care of you.  Respect me, and I’ll respect you.  Love me, and I’ll love you.  Have my back, and I’ll have yours.  Listen to me, and I’ll listen to you all day and all night, and even when you’re not talking.  I can hear you.  You’re not talking to me, but I can hear you.  When the wind blows really hard to the south, I go outside and say words out loud so they can find you.  I may be crazy, but I’m not THAT kind of crazy.  I know what I know, and you are just lost in yourself right now.  Fucking dig your way out.  Listen to the wind.  I will help you find the good part of you again.  And you will do the same for me.

Maybe. 

I think I might overestimate humanity.