Today is beautiful. The temperature hit a little over 70 degrees. No wind, just a nice breeze. I opened all the windows in my house (at least the ones I could open - some I accidentally painted shut). So Fresh Spring Air, you know? Spring Cleaning - when you move stuff that hasn't been moved in a while (last spring) and there's just dust and cat hair or whatever. I just take the pre-emptive Zyrtec and be a spring soldier.
So my windows and doors are open, and I can see more of my neighbors. Usually I'm a total hermit, with all the dark shades drawn, for no reason. Anyway, everyone is outside, and they are on their phones. Americans are talking to each other MORE since this pandemic, BECAUSE they can't (shouldn't) leave their homes or being around other people, in person. People are logged in and online and on the phone.
A lot of people are losing a LOT of money right now: restaurants, bars, sports venues, music venues. God help you if you're a waitress.
Here's who's NOT losing money: ATT, Verizon, Netflix, cable companies/Direct TV, Spotify, Hulu. And Zoom. wtf? I didn't even know this company/app/whatever even existed until last month. The stock market is bleeding money, and THIS company went up 8% last week, and the S&P fell 12.5%. Now would be a great time to buy stock in certain things, if you have money. I know it sounds counter-intuitive, but this is where people come up with money for their future. Pick a telecommunications company this isn't gigantic, and throw a little money at it in stocks. (As if I have a single dollar to invest in anything ...)
But seriously, find a company that data mines and start researching. If you're like me, your retirement won't even make a dent in your cost of life.
Happy Tuesday!
Tuesday, March 31, 2020
Saturday, March 28, 2020
Why Marriage Should Not Be Legal
Marriage is defined as: 1. the legally or formally recognized union of two people as partners in a personal relationship (historically and in some jurisdictions specifically a union between a man and a woman). OR 2. a combination or mixture of two or more elements. (Oxford Dictionary)
I don't dispute either of these definitions. I believe that if two people love each other, they should definitely commit to one another. What that commitment entails should be entirely up to the people entering into a union.
My problem is with the legal ramifications of the word "marriage". First and foremost, "marriage" is a Christian sacrament. As most people know, when two people get married in a church, that marriage is not considered legal, in the eyes of the government. Another step needs to be taken at a local courthouse to legalize the partnership. This is where I disagree with society's norms.
If you're religious, get married in a church. If you're not, proclaim your love for each other in front of friends and family. But why is a legal contract necessary, especially when most states are "no fault" states? Why doesn't everyone get a civil union? or - better yet - why not just create legal documents based on individual needs and requests? Or - even better yet - why not require people who get a marriage license to renew it every year? Fishing and hunting licenses require renewal every year. Driver's licenses require renewal every four years, but marriage is a forever contract. I believe that license should cost like $25/year, and if you choose not to renew it, the license is void. Easy. If you're still in love, awesome. If you're not, contract dissolved. All legal documentation and assets should be managed by the people getting married, not blood-sucking lawyers and court systems.
Love is a choice. Every day, all the time. Falling out of love is not all that rare. "Sticking it out" in a marriage just to appease other people, or "for the kids" is not beneficial to individuals or society.
Just saying. We live in America 2020, not Puritan times. Love and commitment shouldn't be governed by law.
I don't dispute either of these definitions. I believe that if two people love each other, they should definitely commit to one another. What that commitment entails should be entirely up to the people entering into a union.
My problem is with the legal ramifications of the word "marriage". First and foremost, "marriage" is a Christian sacrament. As most people know, when two people get married in a church, that marriage is not considered legal, in the eyes of the government. Another step needs to be taken at a local courthouse to legalize the partnership. This is where I disagree with society's norms.
If you're religious, get married in a church. If you're not, proclaim your love for each other in front of friends and family. But why is a legal contract necessary, especially when most states are "no fault" states? Why doesn't everyone get a civil union? or - better yet - why not just create legal documents based on individual needs and requests? Or - even better yet - why not require people who get a marriage license to renew it every year? Fishing and hunting licenses require renewal every year. Driver's licenses require renewal every four years, but marriage is a forever contract. I believe that license should cost like $25/year, and if you choose not to renew it, the license is void. Easy. If you're still in love, awesome. If you're not, contract dissolved. All legal documentation and assets should be managed by the people getting married, not blood-sucking lawyers and court systems.
Love is a choice. Every day, all the time. Falling out of love is not all that rare. "Sticking it out" in a marriage just to appease other people, or "for the kids" is not beneficial to individuals or society.
Just saying. We live in America 2020, not Puritan times. Love and commitment shouldn't be governed by law.
Friday, March 27, 2020
27 March 2020
My attention span has (somehow) become shorter. I start things, and then I wander off and do something else.
I have watched the entire Tiger King series.
I just put pre-emergent on my grass.
I broke my trowel digging up rock in my backyard.
I keep trying to play my bass.
I tried to write, which makes me hate my own book.
I have a canvass in front of me to paint, and I don't know how to draw.
I read the New York Times.
I want to do my job, but I am being told not to.
I am watching a ridiculous documentary about Jared Kushner.
I need my own channel, to disperse "news".
Actually, I don't care enough to do that.
Good talk today. I have nothing relevant to say.
I have watched the entire Tiger King series.
I just put pre-emergent on my grass.
I broke my trowel digging up rock in my backyard.
I keep trying to play my bass.
I tried to write, which makes me hate my own book.
I have a canvass in front of me to paint, and I don't know how to draw.
I read the New York Times.
I want to do my job, but I am being told not to.
I am watching a ridiculous documentary about Jared Kushner.
I need my own channel, to disperse "news".
Actually, I don't care enough to do that.
Good talk today. I have nothing relevant to say.
Friday, March 20, 2020
20 March 2020 The Death of Love
He said, and I quote: "I cannot give you what you want, so I don't know why you keep asking."
He said, "instead of bitching about not seeing me, you should be appreciative of what I brought you."
He said, "I can no longer listen to you complain and hear about your dissatisfaction. Little things in the past four years have made me lose more respect for you than gain it."
He said, "I cannot be your friend anymore."
What. The. Fuck.
This person has been my friend for more than thirty years, and you know how we fucked it up? Sex. That's it. I am an excellent communicator, and he doesn't like to talk about feeling words. I told him from the beginning that the meanest thing he could do to me was ignore me. So how do I always get punished? Being put on "silent mode".
I don't apologize to other people for being who I am, but I pussy-footed around him for three years. I didn't disagree with him on little things, because he would get angry and hold his breath like a child. I apologized for things which weren't my fault, just because the ensuing argument was never worth it. I took care of him through two major surgeries. I cleaned his house a hundred times. I cleaned dried dog piss off the kitchen floor, because he was too busy or in too much in pain. I cleaned up dead kittens and their blood and piss and shit that had been drying on the floor and in the floor vents for weeks. I guess I was a semi-convenient maid who just happened to have sex with him too.
And when he couldn't have sex anymore for medical/mental reasons, I became an inconvenience. Another chore he had to deal with. Another person he had to talk to. Another person who wanted his attention. All his wants is to be left alone to wallow in misery now, so (once again) he gets what he wants from me. And I'm supposed to just accept that we never had a final conversation about the end of us; he just started refusing to talk to me, answer texts, or answer the phone.
I guess I'm free now. Last year was pretty brutal for me personally, and then (who I thought was) my best friend just said, "you are not worth another minute of my time." It seems I am unlovable on that highest of levels. People get what they want from me - physically and/or emotionally - and then they tap out.
I'll live. I'll cry for a bit and then try to forget about that kind of love, because I can't allow another person to shred me to pieces ever again.
He said, "instead of bitching about not seeing me, you should be appreciative of what I brought you."
He said, "I can no longer listen to you complain and hear about your dissatisfaction. Little things in the past four years have made me lose more respect for you than gain it."
He said, "I cannot be your friend anymore."
What. The. Fuck.
This person has been my friend for more than thirty years, and you know how we fucked it up? Sex. That's it. I am an excellent communicator, and he doesn't like to talk about feeling words. I told him from the beginning that the meanest thing he could do to me was ignore me. So how do I always get punished? Being put on "silent mode".
I don't apologize to other people for being who I am, but I pussy-footed around him for three years. I didn't disagree with him on little things, because he would get angry and hold his breath like a child. I apologized for things which weren't my fault, just because the ensuing argument was never worth it. I took care of him through two major surgeries. I cleaned his house a hundred times. I cleaned dried dog piss off the kitchen floor, because he was too busy or in too much in pain. I cleaned up dead kittens and their blood and piss and shit that had been drying on the floor and in the floor vents for weeks. I guess I was a semi-convenient maid who just happened to have sex with him too.
And when he couldn't have sex anymore for medical/mental reasons, I became an inconvenience. Another chore he had to deal with. Another person he had to talk to. Another person who wanted his attention. All his wants is to be left alone to wallow in misery now, so (once again) he gets what he wants from me. And I'm supposed to just accept that we never had a final conversation about the end of us; he just started refusing to talk to me, answer texts, or answer the phone.
I guess I'm free now. Last year was pretty brutal for me personally, and then (who I thought was) my best friend just said, "you are not worth another minute of my time." It seems I am unlovable on that highest of levels. People get what they want from me - physically and/or emotionally - and then they tap out.
I'll live. I'll cry for a bit and then try to forget about that kind of love, because I can't allow another person to shred me to pieces ever again.
Wednesday, March 18, 2020
COVID-19 18 March 2020
I find myself in a strange situation wherein all my behaviors BEFORE this week (not going out, not socializing, being a hermit) are suddenly not only EMBRACED, but ENCOURAGED by society.
I feel good. I haven't conquered anything big yet, but I have a different surge than usual. I am totally on board with staying out of the public unless absolutely necessary. And knowing that I don't have to go back to work anytime in the near future is oddly freeing. I can do whatever I want.
Have I wasted a lot of moments? Yes, but I don't care. I have been productive. I'm typing away at my current book. I cleaned some stuff. I am currently rewatching all of the Stranger Things episodes. I'm very okay with all those things.
People are weird, though. Some 21-year-old drive-by shot at a HyVee yesterday. I don't know what to think about that. A lady at Trader Joe's was pissed about the store running out of some meat she was trying to buy, so she got mad and threw a pound of bacon at the girl who was working there. Strange. A woman at HyVee was really pissed about not finding the beans she wanted, and she yelled out, "This really chaps my ass", (which I thought was kind of funny, actually).
I'm not going to hoard, but I will do my part to stay away from others.
Do I know someone who has this virus? Yes. Have I been in immediate contact with him in the past 14 days? No. Was he in at least a dozen places either me or my family has been? Probably. You just have to hedge your bets at this point, and hope you've escaped any imminent danger.
In the mean time, I'll just play that guitar over there and forget about the world outside again today.
Tuesday, March 17, 2020
COVID-19 17 March 2020
Breathe in the new air of emptiness, America!
Our human virus is now on a different prowl. Bars and restaurants limited to 10 people. Don't gather in groups. The schools shut down, which is weird, but the CHURCHES shut down! Man, that doesn't happen. Shutting all the churches is unprecedented in my lifetime.
And here were are on St Patrick's Day. I'm not gonna lie, I think it's kind of funny that Irish people and all their wannabe-Irish pub-crawlers are on lockdown. All these people were probably fine with shutting down other things, but YOU SHUT DOWN THE BARS!! (That's some funny shit.)
People are hoarding toilet paper and ripping hand sanitizer machines off the walls of businesses. Yep, America is exactly what all those uppity British people thought from day one - we are paranoid, and we revel in it.
Personally, I've spent the last four days writing a book, actually cooking from scratch, playing a lot of Yahtzee with my roommate, and generally wandering around. I kind of like it (minus the whole "death" thing).
I also put together the soundtrack for the novel, which is fun. And I threw in the virus as a side-story. Why not? What else have I got to do? Go to work? Nope.
Happy Tuesday, everyone. Don't check your stocks - there's no reason at this point. Just be.
Our human virus is now on a different prowl. Bars and restaurants limited to 10 people. Don't gather in groups. The schools shut down, which is weird, but the CHURCHES shut down! Man, that doesn't happen. Shutting all the churches is unprecedented in my lifetime.
And here were are on St Patrick's Day. I'm not gonna lie, I think it's kind of funny that Irish people and all their wannabe-Irish pub-crawlers are on lockdown. All these people were probably fine with shutting down other things, but YOU SHUT DOWN THE BARS!! (That's some funny shit.)
People are hoarding toilet paper and ripping hand sanitizer machines off the walls of businesses. Yep, America is exactly what all those uppity British people thought from day one - we are paranoid, and we revel in it.
Personally, I've spent the last four days writing a book, actually cooking from scratch, playing a lot of Yahtzee with my roommate, and generally wandering around. I kind of like it (minus the whole "death" thing).
I also put together the soundtrack for the novel, which is fun. And I threw in the virus as a side-story. Why not? What else have I got to do? Go to work? Nope.
Happy Tuesday, everyone. Don't check your stocks - there's no reason at this point. Just be.
Sunday, March 15, 2020
COVID-19 2020
(To the sound of N Sync ... "Here we go...")
This coronavirus, am I right? What the hell is going on in society right now? I'm not even scared, I'm just sort of astounded. People are weird, and when they are encouraged toward paranoia and hoarding, they're like, "yeah!!". (Just watch Idiocracy.)
I'm off work for Spring Break, but that timing was sort of convenient, in terms of what's going on virally in the world . Tik Tok is all the rage - it probably brought the virus :)
I don't even know what to think about any of this shit, so I'm just trying to stay home and clean my soul, if I have the time. I'm ready to totally disconnect from people (as much of possible) in order to get my own shit together, mentally, emotionally, and physically. I am going to try to take this unexpected time off and be a better version of me. No pressure to go to a second location. Lots of pressure (and time) to simply look in the mirror. Much time to reflect about how all the various moments in any given of my days are spent.
I think I've been throwing away too many of my personal moments for too long. I fixate on exterior things, and forget that if I am not functional, I cannot function. (Seems super-obvious, but is nevertheless quite important.) . I'm not trying to say this whole virus shit is a good thing, but it might be exactly the thing that makes me pay more attention to my life and how I'm living it.
My life is weird in all aspects right now: politically, socially, financially, emotionally, physically, and topically. As Hunter S. Thompson said, "when the going gets weird, the weird go pro".
I'm going pro.
This coronavirus, am I right? What the hell is going on in society right now? I'm not even scared, I'm just sort of astounded. People are weird, and when they are encouraged toward paranoia and hoarding, they're like, "yeah!!". (Just watch Idiocracy.)
I'm off work for Spring Break, but that timing was sort of convenient, in terms of what's going on virally in the world . Tik Tok is all the rage - it probably brought the virus :)
I don't even know what to think about any of this shit, so I'm just trying to stay home and clean my soul, if I have the time. I'm ready to totally disconnect from people (as much of possible) in order to get my own shit together, mentally, emotionally, and physically. I am going to try to take this unexpected time off and be a better version of me. No pressure to go to a second location. Lots of pressure (and time) to simply look in the mirror. Much time to reflect about how all the various moments in any given of my days are spent.
I think I've been throwing away too many of my personal moments for too long. I fixate on exterior things, and forget that if I am not functional, I cannot function. (Seems super-obvious, but is nevertheless quite important.) . I'm not trying to say this whole virus shit is a good thing, but it might be exactly the thing that makes me pay more attention to my life and how I'm living it.
My life is weird in all aspects right now: politically, socially, financially, emotionally, physically, and topically. As Hunter S. Thompson said, "when the going gets weird, the weird go pro".
I'm going pro.
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