On Being a Teenager

In Plato’s Republic, one of the characters declares that youth and age are an equal burden.  At first glance, that statement seems like a load of shit, but give it a moment of consideration. 

As I am on the cusp on being old, I can say with certainty that it sucks.  I wish I could claim what Plato’s interlocutor did and say that my wealth has softened the blow of getting older, but I have no material wealth to distract me from the everyday, shitty business of  graying hair and thinning skin.  But to consider youth an equal burden?  Now that’s interesting … because it’s true. 

The best, most free years of life are the 20s and 30s.  Generally, a person can do what they what without interference from society.  Making huge life changes is still spontaneous during these decades of life:  new job, new boyfriend/girlfriend, traveling to foreign countries just because, blowing the budget on a whim, whatever.  Those freedoms are not available as a child.  If one’s 20s are a roller coaster of exciting, creative, authentic, potential experiences, then early youth is a seemingly endless series of moments spent waiting. 

Much of youth is spent being told what to do and when (and how) to do it.  People are probably always in the process of becoming, but during youth, our peers are constantly in collusion to make us something we haven’t decided  to be quite yet.  The constant onslaught of other peoples’ expectations is quite suffocating. 

Example:  A girl is being a cunt to you, talking shit and making up lies.  What do you do?  A 20-something knows who he or she is well enough to either call that bitch out or ignore her.   A teenager is more likely to just take it.   Self-doubt is at an apex in people who exist in the vacuum between child- and adulthood.  Even the bitchy, mean, popular girls are littered with self-doubt (even though they would never admit it).  Dealing with all the issues of life is overwhelming and largely experimental in the early stages of life.  In a word, it’s hard. 

So … give young people a break, and maybe take some time to help them find who they are, independent of all the noise around them.