I woke up this morning to a tachycardic heart beat. My heart is beating so fast that I can barely work this keyboard in the phone, bc my whole body moves with my heart. I'm dizzy and nauseous and faint. I just want it to stop.
This has happened before. I'm not sure what causes it, but it definitely feels like impending death. It WILL be death if it doesn't stop.
When it happens I have to think about how long I can stand it before I head to the emergency room. I don't want to go to the hospital, bc it will cost about $2000 - I know from experience.
I also don't want to tell anyone in my house until it's absolutely necessary, bc I don't want to freak them out. But I am very freaked out. My heart feels like it's going to explode.
What's maybe even worse is right now, when my heart has been beating so fast for about a half hour now, and my heartbeat gets faint. I can't feel it as well in my carotid. I worry, which probably isn't helpful to a chaotic heart.
If this is the time - if I die this morning ...
Sorry, I don't have an end to that sentence. I'm going to nestle with my daughter while she sleeps.
Be kind.
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