Monday, June 8, 2015

Gardening Isn't for Pussies

Yesterday, I tackled a huge bush in my front yard.  The fucking thing is pissing me off, because it looks dead, and it's my favorite thing in my yard.  So I went at it with clippers.  I now have a bunch of torn blood vessels in my eye where a branch stuck me (eyes wide open into a tree isn't a good idea, in case you were wondering), a hole in the web of my fingers where a different branch impaled me, about 100 mosquito bites, and a bush which looks far worse today than it did yesterday.

Today I trimmed things and pulled weeds.  Once again, the mosquitoes feasted on me, a limb from a rose bush got stuck in my arm (blood everywhere), and I was sweating like a race horse (which attracts mosquitoes, by the way).  While pulling weeds, I ran into my concrete bird bath, which one of my stupid children knocked over and broke last year (though no one will admit it), which took a chunk out of my knee.

Gardening is NOT sexy.  Bleeding and sweating all over the place doesn't really make a girl look pretty.  I'm sure the blisters from using the clippers yesterday doesn't really add to the hot-factor either.

I focus my attention on the garden, because I have nothing else to do, and I have no friends.  I'm not trying to achieve some sort of pity-factor here; I'm just stating facts.  I have no husband to speak of (on paper only), so I do what I have to do to occupy my time and make my surroundings more aesthetically pleasing.

So I am off again to tackle another corner of the yard.  I am currently rubbing thyme on my arms, because the internet told me it repels mosquitoes.  While I doubt the veracity of that claim, I'm up for suggestions.

Hopefully, I don't poke an eye out ...

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