I am not, by nature, a very social person. I think I spent all of that energy in the first 25 years of my life. And then life events wrecked me, because all of that pretending caught up to me, and I realized that I never really liked people all that much. I tried to, I faked it, but I was always trying to be someone who wasn't really me.
So now, when I think about going out - being social - I feel a little sick. The social anxiety kicks in. Not because I am afraid of other people or anything like that, but moreso that I can't stand the pretense that everyone plasters on their faces in public.
Very few people (including myself) are true to themselves in social situations. Everyone is either trying to fit in or trying to get laid or trying to ingratiate themselves to other people in some capacity. I am so fucking tired of all that posturing.
I don't have the energy to shape-shift in order to put other people at ease. For some of us, being "NORMAL" is the most difficult social task. It would be nice if everyone simply accepted people for who they are rather than trying to fit other people into what suits THEIR needs. As individuals, we ought to appreciate the social outcasts, because we will end up in their memoirs.
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