Spring Break 2014

Moment of silence ... Spring Break 2014 is officially over.  I am going to celebrate by drinking a mimosa (or two or five), because that is how I celebrated every other day of Spring Break.  I'm not saying I got all drunk every day during the past 10 days, but I made a point of having at least one mimosa every day, because I was stuck in the greater Papillion area all through break.

When I went back to the all-school "teacher meeting" today, staff was encouraged to shout out the cool places they may have visited over break, and it took all my willpower not to shout out the fact that I got as far as Omaha at one point, but that's it.  Most of my outdoor activity was spent in my own front- or backyard.  I picked up leaves and sticks.  I played one million games of HORSE (and got beat 900,000 by a 12-year-old).  I ... wait, that's about all I did.  Here is a list of things which I planned to do (since I was stuck here), but did not:  volunteer at the Open Door Mission, write summer reading curriculum, read The Republic again to prep for teaching it, cure cancer.  So, yeah.  I did none of those things.

But that's okay.  I hung out with my kids, had sleepovers with them, ate meals, slept in, and did a big bunch of nothing.  It's all good.  Oh, wait!  I also edited my two novels - gutted them, actually - which felt nice, even if they never amount to anything.  I also read Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy and Sharp Objects for nothing but pleasure (which is a rare bonus).  I figure that if I can just get used to being happy in my own skin and not actively hating the people who make me crazy, I will be okay.  I have decided to (try to) forgive everyone for everything all the time, because anger eats people alive.  It's just not healthy.  I don't want to hand over my mental and physical well-being to other people.  I am me, and they can be them.

I think that I promised myself a bunch of things which I did not understand at the time, and I'm ready to let those promises go.  Every day is a new opportunity, and yesterday is gone.  I'll try to be happy in this moment right now rather than thinking about other moments which aren't even happening right now.

(But let's be honest, my anger will be back.  It will manifest here.  And I'm okay with that.  Writing is catharsis.  If I bitch about life here, I can hit publish and send the negativity into cyberspace, where it will do far less harm than it does sitting in my heart every day.)