Surefire signs of the death of a relationship

It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.

-       Friedrich Nietzsche

Surefire signs of the death of a relationship:

·         When I look at you, I feel violent anger.  I would like to tear your fucking face off.

·         When you chew, you remind me of an animal unhinging its jaw in the wild.

·         I pay off our children’s medical bills with my income tax return; you buy a television for your bedroom.

·         When you’re home, you stare at the TV for hours on end rather than talking to me about the life we built, which is currently in flames around you.

·         “Quality Time” with the children always includes some version of staring at the TV.

·         You have “no money” to do anything, unless it involves drinking with your friends after work and then going out for after-hour restaurant food.

·         When you walk in the door, I just want to go somewhere else … anywhere you aren’t.

·         Many of the horrible personal tendencies my children exhibit are a direct reflection of your personality.

·         We sleep in separate bedrooms, but that distance is not nearly far enough away.  I want you in a different home where you take our children on weekend visits.

·         You don’t read books. 

·         In any moment of silence, you fill the space with annoying noises, just so you don’t feel uncomfortable.  (P.S. Your noises are worse than your aversion to conversation.)

·         There is no excuse for your belligerent stupidity in regard to the necessary functions of owning a home.  Pretending something isn’t broken doesn’t fix it.

·         When you ask me if we have any Spray ‘n Wash, I hate you with every fiber of my being.  You haven’t bought one, single necessity for your own life since we got together, because you think I’m your caretaker.

·         When I look at you, all I can think of is what I did wrong, and not what I’ve done right. 

We're done here.